Trick #3: Stop telling people they’re wrong

 In 20tricks for 2020

Let’s face it, we all like to be right. It makes us feel smart, cool and secure.

The challenge though is that to be right, we often think we have to tell someone else they’re wrong. And you can imagine how much we all hate being told we’re wrong.

Being contradicted feels like a personal attack. We immediately get on the defensive and fight for our position.

Not a helpful set of emotions to trigger in those clients you’re trying to attract.

So next time you don’t quite agree with someone, before telling them they’re wrong, first tell them they’re right.

Find some aspect of their view that you agree with & tell them- evoke that warm fuzzy glow in them that lowers their defences.

Then instead of following your statement with a ‘BUT’ (making it sound like what you just said was completely insincere), instead say ‘AND’.


Scenario A
Client: “I’m ready to grow my business, I think I need to invest in more staff.”
You: “No don’t be silly, you don’t need more staff, you just need to hire me, I’ll grow your business.”

Scenario B
Client: “I’m ready to grow my business, I think I need to invest in more staff.”
You: “Fantastic, I think that’s a really smart move, your business has real growth potential and I have some great ideas as to how I could help you achieve that growth.”

Notice the difference? No contradicting, starting off with the mutual agreement, then elegantly sharing your view with an AND.

Try it this week, & notice the positive difference it starts to make to your relationships

Katie N

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